Three's Company

Keeping up with all that’s leaking and releasing is no easy task. It’s kind of like John Ritter trying to make it with both Suzanne Somers and whoever that brunette was. The opportunity of choice paralyzed him, and Don Knotts barged in with hilarious, if counterproductive, results. So here’s my chance to avoid Mr. Furely and get the girl(s?) with three albums that have recently hit the net.

Hopefully, I’ve learned from John’s mistakes.

Deftones- Diamond Eyes (****)
Gotta hand it to the Deftones, after their bassist car crashed into a coma, they shelved the entire album they had just completed. Part of it was processing the tragedy; part of it was their wish to someday play those songs with him. Whatever the reason, the incident pushed them to enlist Sergio Vega and record Diamond Eyes. A noticeable step up from the murky and directionless Saturday Night Wrist, Diamond Eyes finds the Deftones perfectly balancing nightmarish dreamscapes with crushing riffs. The stutter-stop drumming of “Diamond Eyes” and the bone crushing relentlessness of “Rocket Skates” illustrate just how ferocious the group can sound. However, the Deftones have always been a bit more concerned with atmosphere than your average metal band and this is where Diamond Eyes truly shines. “You’ve Seen The Butcher” features slow, crawling riffs as shimmering keys build towards frightening heights. Elsewhere, “Beauty School” balances the group’s interest in trip-hop as it’s set against hazy distortion. Okay, so the record’s not perfect. The second half feels rushed when it comes to hooks, and fans are still curious about the unreleased material. But make no mistake: This is the Deftones most sonically realized album, perfectly balancing crisp sounds with monolith-sized anguish. With an album like this in their repertoire, who knows where they could go next.

Key Cuts: Diamond Eyes, You've Seen The Butcher, Beauty School


Minus The Bear- OMNI (***½)
By now, Minus The Bear has carved out a sizable niche for themselves within the proggier side of post-hardcore. Chalk it up to their workman-like attitude. This is a band that doesn’t seem intent on changing minds, just making music on their terms. OMNI certainly reinforces that notion with everything fans have come to expect from Minus The Bear. “Summer Angel” features the familiar melting guitars, as well as Jake Snider’s smooth voice and jazzy flavor. Album opener “My Time” bounces along with electronic slides and wavy rhythms while “Animal Backwards” relishes in processed loops, pulsing beats, and all manner of blips. Yet for a band priding themselves in complexity, the disc is arrested in mid-tempo, even if the time changes are a different shade of mid-tempo. OMNI might display Minus The Bear at their most accessible, but their zest for exploring dynamics comes across as muted. As it stands, OMNI is a pleasant record to run through but one that fails to leave a strong impression. Maybe they need their fans to break up with them before they make another daring record.

Key Cuts: My Time, Summer Angel, Animal Backwards


Ratatat- LP4 (***)
It’s more or less easy to point out what works on the new Ratatat album, LP4. For one thing, the dorky duo of Evan Mast and Mike Stroud has pushed their playful glitch rock into more organic territory. Strings (And honest to goodness piano!) crop everywhere on LP4, leading listeners to believe they’ve expanded their palette quite considerably. Whether it’s the slow moving, syrupy build of “Bilar” or the weeping drift of “Mahalo,” Ratattat certainly feels more comfortable than they did on LP3. In fact, their more up-tempo numbers have become even more captivating, especially when it comes to the spazzy beats and synthetic fluttering of “Drugs.” Unfortunately, their arrangements operate on the surface, and the atmospheres aren’t nearly as immersive as they’d like you to think. For lack of a better way to say it, Mast and Stroud still write songs like Ratatat, almost to a fault. While they always come off as bright and upbeat, and maybe a little Legend of Zelda inspired, it’s clear that their reliance on organic instrumentation is to cover up their idling sound. It’s too bad; because Ratatat always show promise with their blurry take on electro rock. Perhaps if they blurred some more boundaries, they’d stumble on their watershed work.

Key Cuts: Drugs, Mahalo, Sunblocks

Long & Extremely Overdue

Due to some pretty high profile leaks lately (Black Keys, Gaslight Anthem, I’m lookin’ at you!) here are two reviews I’d been meaning to write for a while. Hopefully, this is a reminder for me to keep a good pace as opposed to thinking I’ll get to this stuff later. Plus, it’ll free me up to dive right into those leaks, which at the moment, are sounding pretty darn stellar.

So here we go:

Coheed & Cambria- Year Of The Black Rainbow (***½)
Much like George Lucas, Coheed & Cambria find it difficult to keep fans engaged in the story of their prequel to the Amory Wars Saga, and fifth overall LP, Year Of The Black Rainbow. By this point, anyone still following the disjointed plot will love whatever the band drops, so perhaps it’s best to focus on what the uneducated Coheed fan can glean from the album, which is where it DOES get interesting. Slicker, darker, and heavier than their lackluster Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV, Part Two: No World For Tomorrow, Year Of The Black Rainbow is a dizzying feast for the headphones. Enlisting Atticus Ross and Joe Barresi to infused their lurching prog-metal with some electronic flair, Year Of The Black Rainbow benefits from muscular production that makes it as heavy as it is lush. While the 1-2-3 riffage of “The Broken” doesn’t reinvent Coheed’s wheel, it’s the ballads that truly shine on Rainbow. “Far” is a hazy, dense soundscape with thunderous drums and ethereal vocals. On “Pearl Of The Stars,” guitarist Claudio Sanchez lets his inner Slash loose against shimmering acoustics and drifting beats, with deliciously flashy results. While the band’s “concept” has definitely run out of steam, adding drummer Chris Pennie to the fold has proven they can at least make a solid rock record that sounds immersive. The casual listeners will take that any day over understanding what The Crowing actually is.

Key Cuts: The Broken, Far, Pearl Of The Stars

MGMT- Congratulations (*)
Congratulations is, perhaps, the most appropriate tongue-in-cheek designation for MGMT’s new album. Unfortunately, I think they were looking at the joke from a different angle, namely, that their album wasn’t a colossal joke. So, permit me to fill them in on what’s so funny: CONGRATULATIONS MGMT, you’ve made a record that sacrifices any sense of accessibly in the name of pretentious, Brian Eno inspired, wankery. CONGRATULATIONS MGMT, you’ve buried all that was unique about your group, a balance of innovation and pop hooks, under layers of phasers, boring keyboard lines, and goofy harpsichord theatrics. CONGRATULATIONS MGMT, for creating “Siberian Breaks,” a 12 minute test of patience with no rhyme or reason to its transitions, a cut and paste fantasia of throw away snyth-folk that’s got the Pitchfork kids (pun intended) hot and bothered. CONGRATULATIONS MGMT, because the one star you’re receiving is for “I Found A Whistle,” a delicate and shimmering organ number that actually sounds like YOU and not Sgt. Pepper’s Trendy Hipster Club Band. CONGRATULATIONS MGMT, because like so many bands with early promise, you’ve reminded us that the sophomore slump is a hard fall from grace. So there you have it, Congratulations by MGMT, get it?

Key Cuts: I Found A Whistle, Oracular Spectacular

Mew- No More Stories/Are Told Today/I’m Sorry/They Washed Away//No More Stories/The World Is Grey/I’m Tired/Let’s Wash Away (****½)

Denmark’s Mew occupies an extremely unique position in the music world.

The self-proclaimed “indie stadium band” seems to sport the Midas touch when it comes to their craft. With their pristine arrangements and progressive pomp and circumstance, they create a sound that effortlessly draws in fans of both Radiohead and Rush, a rare feat in a sea of fickle music lovers.

In fact, when considering their appeal and influences, Mew defies a great deal of traditional logic and categorizing.

2003’s Frengers might have given them the world’s attention, but the band has only reached for the stratosphere since. Their sound has gotten bigger, the arrangements more angular, and it’s surprising that they’ve garnered more fans in the process. So with expectations riding high after 2005’s dark, multi-tracked arrangement And The Glass Handed Kites, the band drops an album that’s as complex as it’s title with No More Stories/Are Told Today/I’m Sorry/They Washed Away//No More Stories/The World Is Grey/I’m Tired/Let’s Wash Away.

For ease of reading, let’s just call it No More Stories… from here on out.

While Mew has had the opportunity to write a record far more concise to catch radio play, they’ve instead created an album that requires listeners to truly focus on musical subtleties. From the digital waves and huge crashing drums of “New Terrain,” it’s clear that Mew have indulged all of their prog rock fancies to create an album that’s as grandiose as it is slick. From the triple tracked backing vocals, to the soft electronic flourishes, “New Terrain” comes across as a robotic love song while retaining a passionate soul.

Right off the bat, it’s clear that there are an incredible amount of layers to the songs on No More Stories…

In some ways, listeners might even see these tracks as mini symphonies, light and airy in one moment, with thundering crescendos and a head-bobbing groove in the next. The band truly excels in providing musical tension without always relying on crunchy overdrive and dissonant riffs. With its mid-tempo dance beats, warm bass, and shimmering guitar, “Beach” finds the group providing an ever-climbing arrangement that’s calmly held together by Jonas Bjerre’s breathy croon. It shows that Mew truly understand the balance between hooks and complexity, which is why “Beach” succeeds in displaying both to listeners.

Yet one thing that truly stands out on No More Stories…, as opposed to the other albums in the Mew canon, is the fact that these songs are awash with an army of synthesizers and keyboards. While this tends to be the kiss of death for most rock bands, Mew use them to create a rich and swirling sonic experience. From providing the backbone on the fluid and ominous “Tricks” to rounding out the thumping bass driven swagger of “Repeaterbeater,” Mew make efficient use out of their keyboards, always using them for texture as opposed to awkwardly tacking them on.

Yet, the album’s crown jewel is easily the 7+ minute “Cartoons & Macramé Wounds,” a crisp and lush track that seamlessly shape shifts from a sparkling beginning into delicate and spacious melodies. The track showcases Mew firing on all cylinders, twinkling piano lines, full bass, steady drum work, and an ethereal armada of arresting vocals singing “You drew me/Cartoons/So playful…” Through subdued bridges, expansive climaxes and acapella endings, “Cartoons & Macramé Wounds” displays Mew as masters of their craft, reminding listeners that no matter how large their arrangements become, they are still in the driver’s seat when playing these songs.

The ideas, as it were, never get too big for the band.

Unlike most progressive albums, there’s also a surprising absence of filler on No More Stories… While the “Intermezzo 1 & 2” could have easily been left on the cutting room floor, their function to cleanse the listeners' palate might very well appeal to most and doesn’t come across as distracting.

Additionally, No More Stories… sports some of drummer Silas Utke Graae Jørgensen’s best performances. His skins work is never flashy, suiting the songs while remaining precise and driving. While his fills might seem simple upon first listen, Jørgensen throws in little rolls and fluttering beats that add just enough detail to really give his work character.

So in the end, No More Stories… is everything a Mew fan could want and then some. From the deft percussion of “Hawaii” to the dreamy shoegaze of “Silas The Magic Car,” the album is a proper showcase of Mew’s progressive tendencies as well as their love for delicate soundscapes. The irony is that while the band might jokingly refer to themselves as “pretentious art rock” the music never feels inaccessible. Instead, No More Stories… feels earnest, full of heart and soul as it refuses to curtail to prog-rock stereotypes.

In fact, most bands could learn a thing or two from these talented Danes. While other groups are too busy trying to be the next Radiohead or Rush, Mew has decided to learn from their fore fathers and create something that is unique to themselves.

And who knows, maybe their next album will have a title that’s twice as long.

Sounds Like: Origin Of Symmetry (Muse), In Rainbows (Radiohead), Moving Pictures (Rush)

Key Cuts: Beach, Repeaterbeater, Cartoons & Macramé Wounds

Click on the artwork to sample some of No More Stories… for yourself!

The Decemberists- The Hazards Of Love (**)

I’d consider myself a sucker for anything even remotely related to a concept album.

This is because I’m willing to grant a large amount of praise to those that can craft songs exploring an overarching theme, or create a twisting narrative that the music serves as a soundtrack for. All in all, it takes an impressive amount of planning, discipline and foresight to add theses elements to a song cycle, making them into something more than just a set of well made songs.

But for every great concept album, there are ones that tend to overreach, and this is a story about one of those.

Bless Colin Meloy’s little delusions of storytelling grandeur, but The Decemberists slip and fumble on their fifth album overall, The Hazards Of Love. What could have been a fascinating exploration of love that’s been won and lost, degenerates into a half-baked mess of stunted characters and languishing arrangements to match.

However, the album’s biggest fault seems to lie with the fact that there is too much musical similarity between these tracks. While it’s understood that musical motifs will pop up later if there is a story involved, something to ground the listener in the thick of the action and remind them of themes, nearly every track on The Hazards Of Love builds up in the same way. These tracks seem to plod along with soft acoustic beginnings, large bluesy riffs, a bridge that goes nowhere, and then a melody we heard two tracks ago. Revisiting musical melodies is perfectly fine, it’s worked for everyone from Pink Floyd to Green Day, but when Meloy uses the same melody four separate occasions with minimal change (“The Hazards Of Love 1,2,3, AND 4") he’s not grounding a theme, he’s being lazy.

Much to its detriment, The Hazards Of Love is an album that can only be appreciated in parts, which makes it difficult as each of the tracks segue into each other.

What’s even more depressing is that the quaint pop folk charm of most Decemberists albums has been replaced with Meloy’s wish to become Jack White. “A Bower Scene” begins innocently enough with tensely palm muted riffs before erupting in cock-rock bravado. There’s nothing wrong with heavy, but Meloy fails to realize his band works best with folky ramblings and quaint synthesizer lines, rather than bombastic blues swagger.

Still, not all is lost. “The Rake’s Song” is classic Decemberists, with a climbing vocal hook over held together by thick bass, enormous drums, and hypnotic acoustic guitar. Channeling the album’s supposed villain, Meloy brings a darkness rarely seen in Decemberist songs with lines such as, “Charlotte I buried after feeding her foxglove/Dawn was easy, she drowned in the bath/Isaiah fought but was easily bested/Burned his body for incurring my wrath…”

Elsewhere, “Annan Water” features a lush and spacious organ break while “The Wanting Comes In Waves/Repaid” sports angelically staggered harmonies that seem to ascend towards something otherworldly. Suffice to say, it’s not that the music itself is awful on The Hazards Of Love, but those moments of musical beauty are few and far between, and never seem to last for a full song. And while none of the music is poorly written, it just seems phoned in.

While The Hazards Of Love is musically hit or miss, what really bogs it down is how muddled Meloy’s story comes across to listeners. Sure, some concept albums require the listener to delve past the layers of loud guitar to get to the album’s nuances, but The Hazards Of Love obscures this to the point of nonsense. There should be some balance between catching the flashes of plot points without needing an accompanying lyrics sheet to figure out what Meloy is rambling about.

Essentially, The Hazards Of Love’s convoluted plot revolves around Meloy (Or William as he’s referred to in the story) and his love Margaret (Whose parts are sung by Becky Stark). Through circumstances not quite decipherable, Margaret gets captured at some point, raped at another (By Meloy’s other persona, The Rake) and falls at the mercy of a envious Queen (Voiced by Shara Worden), ultimately concluding in bloody battle as Meloy’s William attempts to save her.

If you feel like Meloy’s reaching for Rush-like ridiculousness, you’re not alone here.

While the fantastic element of the story seems to fit right at home in the form of a concept album or a rock opera, Meloy doesn’t give these characters enough time to develop, nor a sense of space for their existence. They live as absolutes, and commit actions before you can garner a good feel for them. In the end, it feels like Meloy’s love of the concept album’s structure gets the better of him, and he forgets how to tell stories, something the Decemberists have always excelled at.

But I suppose that’s the hazard of concept albums: They are a tricky beast at best, a beast that requires the right kind of love, and the right kind of restraint.

Sounds Like: The Crane Wife (The Decemberists), Consolers Of The Lonely (The Raconteurs), Wincing The Night Away (The Shins)

Key Cuts: The Wanting Comes In Waves/Repaid, The Rake’s Song, Annan Water

Click on the artwork to sample some of The Hazards Of Love for yourself!

Animal Collective- Merriweather Post Pavilion (***½)

Musical progress is important.

If it wasn't, Kurt Cobain would have been just another drug addict, The Kinks would have been content rewriting blues licks all day long, and no one would despise hair metal as much as they do now. Granted this is more important to some artists than others, but the idea of progress eventually leads a select few in the musical world to really "push the envelope" when it comes to creating cutting edge and innovative sounds.

While such experiments might come across as half-baked and alien at first, progress isn't without growing pains. As such, it's important to recognize those taking risks, the ones hell-bent on redefining the sonic palate. For this, look no further than indie darlings Animal Collective, whose new album Merriweather Post Pavilion is already being touted as one of the landmark records of the decade. The musical revolving door of Avey Tare (David Portner), Panda Bear (Noah Lennox), Deakin (Josh Dibb), and Geologist (Brian Weitz) seems to have pushed past the off-kilter and busy arrangements on 2006's Strawberry Jam, into something far more lucid and spacious.

At its bare essence, Merriweather Post Pavilion is an electronic fantasia of hazy synthesizers, delay soaked guitar, busy tribal drumming and Portner's distinctively wavering vocals. This is all evident from the first track, "In The Flowers," an expansive song that marries splashing electronics, imploding feedback and ascending guitar patterns to really illustrate Animal Collective's passion for exploratory arrangements.

Yet, both musical and vocal hooks don't unfold in the traditional sense on Merriweather Post Pavilion. Whether it's the staggered counterpoint, rolling synthesizers and hand claps on "My Girls," to the bouncy delivery of "Summertime Clothes," Animal Collective warp poppy aesthetics into twisting world jumbles and organized chaos.

Nowhere is this clearer than on the album's stand out, "Bluish." A bizarre hybrid of pulsing beats, liquid melodies, and shuffling electronics, "Bluish" straddles the line between gentle Beach Boy-harmonies and reverb drenched soundscapes. The result is a song that highlights Animal Collective's strengths: Fearless experimentation coupled with a strong knowledge of pop structure.

Yet while Merriweather Post Pavilion exhibits a dreamy psychedelic pop sensibility throughout its 11 tracks, it's certainly not an album that will spawn any Top 40 hits anytime soon. Like most Animal Collective releases, the band gets into trouble when they let their indulgences get the better of them. Cuts like "Taste" meander over a sea of blips and squeals, underplayed with clacking drum loops and shuddering rhythms. While the band's Philip Glass-meets-The Beatles mentality often leads to surprising results, sometimes a little more structure goes a long way.

As a whole, the album holds too few tracks that reach a music apex, as Animal Collective seem intent on pushing their sound into a murky, and sometimes monotonous, miasma. "Lion In A Coma" begins promisingly enough with winding vocals and thick bass, but ends before it really takes off. For some reason, Animal Collective has associated musical tension with time signature changes, which ultimately makes these compositions feel more sterile then they should.

This is perhaps the most frustrating aspect of Merriweather Post Pavilion, many of these tracks are not fully formed.

Most of these songs feel like scraps of musical ideas that have been painstakingly jigsawed together, rather than harmoniously layered. Hanging on high-pitched samples, "Brothersport" provides a carefree and airy atmosphere but feels more like a sketch than a fleshed out arrangement. Elsewhere, the gang harmonies and plodding pace of "No More Runnin'" feels like an extended bridge or midsection that's gone on too long, a problem that seems to plague the second half of the album.

While it's clear that the band is trying to get audiences to approach music and melody in an unconventional way, it's also disappointing to see a very detail oriented band produce tracks that feel incomplete. So, despite the fact that it's far from the "album of the decade," Merriweather Post Pavilion provides fans with an intricately crafted listening experience.

However, Animal Collective has made an album that, while more accessible than a majority of their back catalog, still defies traditional genre classification. Nobody is currently tinkering with the types of sounds that Animal Collective are, and that's a sure sign this band is pushing toward something bigger with their sound.

While jarring upon first listen, Merriweather Post Pavilion is still a lush and detailed album from some of the most fearless men in the music world. Some added focus could tighten up their arrangements further, but that is ultimately the price of progress: Sometimes trailblazers and innovators stumble onto something special, but they'll make some mistakes along the way. For Animal Collective and Merriweather Post Pavilion, it's just a case of growing pains as they look towards the future of what contemporary music can be.

Sounds Like: Philip Glass failing to play The White Album (The Beatles)

Key Cuts: In The Flowers, My Girls, Bluish

Author's Note: This review appears in a recent issue of the Sonoma State Star. As this is the author's own writing and this is his own blog, in addition to holding the position of A&E Editor for the Sonoma State Star, he posts it here with express consent of himself. Duh.

Click on the artwork to sample some of Merriweather Post Pavilion for yourself!

Guns N' Roses- Chinese Democracy (****)

If nothing else, Guns N’ Roses’ long awaited Chinese Democracy is a story of numbers.

• $13+ million in production costs.
  
• 14 years since The Spaghetti Incident?
  
• 5 different guitar players.
  
• 2 Velvet Revolver albums later.
  
• 1 original member.
  

And for all the hang-ups, for all the missed release dates, the enigmatic antics of Axl Rose, the longest running joke in rock history has finally become a reality. In hindsight, Chinese Democracy could have easily been a disaster, especially after the reports that Rose re-recorded the album over 3 times. However, Rose and his rag-tag team of hired guns (Pun intended) have completed an album that, while carrying a few miss-fires, sounds incredibly unique and expansive in a rather bland music climate.

Initially, many media outlets criticized the album’s leaks (Beginning in 2002 mind you) simply because they confused Rose’s electronic studio trickery with the absence of energy. However, one listen to the album’s title track, and those fears are instantly erased.

“Chinese Democracy” explodes from hushed whispers, to thick pseudo grunge guitar, with sleazy lead work (From Finck or Fortus, or SOMEBODY), and Tommy Stinson’s booming bass. It recalls such GNR staples like “Garden Of Eden” and “Out Ta Get Me,” channeling Rose’s affection for gutter punk fervor but remaining distinctly modern with it’s twisting, robotic solos. It gives listeners hope that GNR 2.0 can effortlessly integrate Rose’s fascination with electronica with their classic rock influences.

Still, it’s not a perfect marriage but I suppose things in the GNR universe rarely are.

“Shackler’s Revenge” sounds like Rammstein at a 70s disco, while the absolute throw away “Rhiad N’ The Bedouins” feels like Led Zeppelin covering Nine Inch Nails. At it’s worst, Chinese Democracy slightly falters because of its tendency to cram too many ideas into one little track.

However, the record’s real strength is its eclecticism.

For this, thank no one else but Buckethead. While he’s credited as writing only a few songs on Chinese Democracy, it’s clear that his virtuosity has gotten Rose to thinking about the different directions to take this band.

The flamenco funk of “If The World” seems awkward at first, but becomes more inviting thanks to Rose’s wailing falsetto, over twinkling piano and a seductive porno groove. Elsewhere, the blistering swagger of “Scraped” recalls the serpentine riffing of “Welcome To The Jungle” while Buckethead’s furious fretwork burns through the song.

For a group of musicians with such dissimilar histories, it’s impressive how much they sound like the old GNR at times.

But make no mistake; Chinese Democracy is NOT an album that Slash and Izzy could have made. Both were content playing blues licks a la Aerosmith and AC/DC, rather than push themselves to the full-scale symphonic statements Rose had in his head. And while Rose only hinted at incredibly baroque art-rock on Use Your Illusion I & II, he’s indulged in every grandiose whim he can think of on Chinese Democracy.

“Street Of Dreams” sports everything from Rose’s Elton John style piano to vibrant string arrangements, thick guitars, and ascending solos. It all climbs into an impressive crescendo as Rose sweetly croons, “I don’t know just what I should do/Everywhere I go I see you/You know it’s what you planned, this much is true/What I thought was beautiful, don’t live inside of you anymore…”

Not even Queen had arrangements this indulgent, yet it all fits together effortlessly.

And if you didn’t think he could cram more into a single track, nowhere are Rose’s art-rock illusions of grandeur more realized than on the epic “Madagascar.” Here we see what Rose had been beating himself up over for 14 years straight: a full horn section, hip-hop beats, pained and somber guitars all climaxing over eerie samples of MLK to Cool Hand Luke. All of this under Rose’s cracked voice as he laments about freedom and injustice.

It’s all a bit ironic considering this album should have been titled Chinese Dictatorship, but Rose’s pulls it off as only a dreamer could.

And looking back, everything revolving around Chinese Democracy has been an extension of Rose wanting to “bury” 1987’s Appetite For Destruction. It’s hard to blame him too; Appetite was an incredibly important record for its time and place, all at once putting the danger back into rock music and killing off hair metal. However, in Axl’s mind, all he could do was go bigger and heavier to try to outmatch this timeless work.

So when Chinese Democracy goes heavy, it lays it all out. “Better” is a thick, Drop C tuned dirge, with spidery licks and Rose’s banshee wail. Guitarists Robin Finck and Ron “Bumblefoot” Thal trade melodic sweeps and arpeggios like they’re going out of style while Rose sings, “So bittersweet/This tragedy/Won’t ask for/Absolution…”

And when it comes down to it, Chinese Democracy is the story of one man refusing to comprise for anything.

While nothing is worth a 14 year wait, it’s clear that Rose has a vision to jettison this incarnation of Guns N’ Roses into the high art band he hopes it can be. Despite its age, Chinese Democracy sounds remarkably fresh. All things considered, its collision of traditional hard rock and classical leanings simply isn’t being explored by other contemporary artists, making Chinese Democracy a truly unique statement.

The album’s true opus is the aptly titled “There Was A Time,” a lavish statement that incorporates Rose’s impressive range, staggered choirs, thick drumming, sweeping strings, and the tightly controlled assault of GNR 2.0’s guitarmy. The mammoth outro rivals the timeless axe theatrics of “November Rain,” but on a much larger scale.

Axl Rose’s scale.

And if the rumors of a trilogy of albums are true, we might not have to wait another 14 years for Axl Rose and the Gunners to release another solid rock record.

Sounds Like: Enter The Chicken (Buckethead), Use Your Illusion I & II (Guns N’ Roses), A Night At The Opera (Queen)

Key Cuts: Street Of Dreams, There Was A Time, Madagascar

Click the artwork to sample some of Chinese Democracy for yourself!

My $0.02: Chinese Democracy (Sort Of) Starts Now!

The faithful (myself included) that still hope for new material under the Guns N' Roses moniker got quite the shot in the arm on June 18th. 9 tracks from the long awaited Chinese Democracy leaked onto the Internet in their most complete forms yet. 6 tracks have been leaked previously and were initially thought to be in their mastered/final mixes, but are now thought to be old demos from 2004. The other three tracks are brand new to fans, with only a rough quality version of "Rhiad & The Bedouins" available previously.

So with MOST of the mythical Chinese Democracy hitting the Internet and creating quite the firestorm in the blogging community, the questions on everyone's mind are:

• How do these measure up to the Gun's N' Roses name?
• How do these new mixes compare to the old ones?

Well it just so happens that your truly has spent the time to dissect them to their fullest.

Better
Compared to the 2007 studio demo, this version of Axl's grinding modern rock maelstrom features some odd compression on the chugging guitars in this 2008 leak. The plus is that Axl's voice is much clearer on this version, though some might complain it's TOO high in the mix. However, the backing vocals ass just the right touch of haunting melody even if the newly added electronic squiggles do little for the overall track. Axl's howling breakdown followed by the twisting, Tom Morello-inspired, solo still holds the same incredibly power. Still, it feels like Axl's compressed the guitars too much on this mix, where they should really be sporting some grit.

The Blues
Of all the tracks in this newly acquired collection, "The Blues" probably benefits the most from the added production. This song has become crystal clear, with Axl's piano coming across powerfully, yet sweetly. The crispness continues with underlying acoustic guitars contrasting sharp strings for a truly baroque, orchestral statement. Listeners will find an incredible amount of things to focus on, as the added time has really made this track into something spectacular.

Chinese Democracy
Hearing the 2007 version of this demo really gave me a whole lot of hope that this album could marry the classic GNR sound with Axl's industrial leanings. However, this new 2008 incarnation is a bit of an anomaly for me to really decide on. For one, the track's build up into the glam-meets-Ministry riff doesn't quite explode with the same crunch that its previous mixes sported. In addition, it seems like even more studio trickery has warped the already bizarre squealing solo to absurdly ridiculous, but enjoyable, proportions. Perhaps a focus on the meat and potatoes of the main riffs and punky drumming, rather than the electronic garnish, will help this track really make the big punch it's capable of.

I.R.S.
The first immediate change is that the acoustic-laced introduction on "I.R.S." has become incredibly vibrant and shimmering. In addition, Axl really scaled back on the heaviness that the main grinding riff had. Instead, he accentuates the underlying synthesizers and the pounding drums. The track now has a great sense of space about it. With the big solo simply crashing down on listeners in an obscenely overdriven catharsis, "I.R.S." now peaks in a blues-meets-digital flurry even if it sacrifices some power in the verses.

If The World
This is perhaps the most bizarre and schizophrenic track of the bunch. Here, Axl manages to cram nimble flamenco guitar, dry drumming, growling bass, and 80's porn wah-wah, all over his highest singing register. It's the busiest and messiest of all the tracks here, but it's also the most interesting because it's so overblown. "If The World" represents Rose at his most decadent, quickly shifting from brilliant with Buckethead's perfect lead work, to cheesy with out of place synthesizers. Chances are, this might represent the most eclectic that Chinese Democracy has to offer, and the good/bad that comes with that.

Madagascar
This track was immediately one of my favorites when I heard a really rough demo in 2004 and has grown by leaps and bounds with every subsequent release. For one, the large horn sections are now powerful and contend comfortably against the sweeping strings. Again, the backing vocals are perfectly placed without feeling overblown. The cymbals are crisper this time too, while the guitar riffs simply swirl around each other in dramatic tension. This is Axl's answer to "Civil War" and "Estranged," all in one track, perfectly balancing his grandiosity with his poignancy. "Madagascar" is a powerful and epic, which is a huge testament to something that's been in the works for over 10 years.

Rhiad & The Bedouins
I'll be honest, I've been listening to a rough and muddled version of this since 2002 and I still think this track has a terrible hook. "Rhiad & The Bedouins" is Axl channeling Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" with a high pitched wail, but setting that to trip-hop beats. The guitars have about 3 too many delay effects on them and the whole experience is abrasively grating. Even the band's backing harmonies don't save it, set against an onslaught of glitchy electronic gobbledigook. Of all the tracks that have leaked, this feels the most cut and pasted, and aside from the spidery solo, "Rhiad & The Bedouins" is Roses' only true misfire in the bunch.

T.W.A.T. (There Was A Time)
Of all the leaked Chinese Democracy material, this is by far my favorite of the bunch. It might be Axl Roses' most complex and layered statement in his entire musical career. This new version of "T.W.A.T." scales back Axl's passionate voice and allows for some serious clarity in the underlying instruments. Acoustic guitars creep in, the bass rumbles, and the somber but itchy guitars cut through effectively. The percussion has also been greatly enhanced, from the large and booming main drums to the added break beats that spackle the arrangements. Set against a flurry of evocative backing vocals and expansive strings, Buckethead's epic lead wails and grows into a delay soaked juggernaut. In short, "T.W.A.T." is simply Symphonic Art Rock 101 and copy cats should take notes.

Unknown (This I Love/Message For You/Prostitute/2000 Intentions?)
This as of yet titled track has stirred up quite a bit of hubbub on Guns N' Roses forums over the official title. Yet sonically it's another weird combination of sounds. There's the muzak-influenced piano line that seems to drive the song in addition to some loopy trip-hop infused percussion. Then, the chorus explodes in a fervor of crunchy distortion and stabbing strings. The track's most exciting moment is when it all breaks into crashing chaos over a fluttering bass drum, but the real problem is Axl's trite delivery. Vocally and lyrically, there is nothing exciting going on and Axl's whining about "fortune and fame" fails to leave a lasting mark. This is certainly the one song that tries the hardest to seem serious and important, but ultimately stumbles because it labors under that delusion so fervently.

The Verdict: No one will ever admit Chinese Democracy was worth the wait. It's not at $13 million dollars and over a decade in production. One of Axl's glaring problems with this batch of songs is that some of them like "Better," "I.R.S.," and "If The World" are starting to suffer because they've been reworked so many times. Mike Clink's production on Use your Illusion I & II balance the spontaneity of the group's live energy with Axl's epic visions. Here, we only get the latter and I think it behooves Axl to just release the damn songs already.

That being said, Axl is creating some interesting arrangements with his revolving door of a band. It's not perfect but most of the these songs are brave and truly unthought-of musical combinations that are exciting and dynamic. And these new versions do offer some positive changes, creating a greater sense of space in many of the 9 tracks. There is never a dull moment in any of these songs but that doesn't mean they always attain the perfection that Axl is striving for.

Still, I suppose the general public won't appreciate them because of Axl Roses' attitude towards his fans. In fact, most might be more comfortable looking at this collection as a solo effort by Rose. Axl Rose & The Gunners actually has a nice ring to it...

In any event, these tracks off the mythical Chinese Democracy warrant a listen from even the most skeptical afn. Who knows, you might find something enjoyable sitting in this Chinese stew.

Meshuggah- obZen (***)

In every genre, there are bands that I suppose the elitists gravitate to because of their skill, technicality and overall craft. These are the bands that people flood message boards with as to show of their “impeccable musical taste” and to undercut anyone that typically listens to anything remotely popular.

For metal heads, that band is Meshuggah.

My first brush with these ridiculous Swedes was a few years ago when I downloaded their I E.P. I marveled at their technicality as well as how they seemed to beat listeners into submission with their gigantic riffs and manic vocals, everything that the music elitists told me I’d love about Meshuggah.

So, does their latest release obZen follow in the same suite? Well, yes and no.

The first thing that’s immediately clear with obZen is that the elongated song experimentation left over from the I E.P. and Catch 33 is gone and done away with. Instead, the album hearkens back a time where the band explored tighter and more compact songs, with clear beginnings and ends.

If this scares you, it shouldn’t. The average song time is 4-5 minutes so it’s not like they’re striving for radio exposure with 2 minute pop diddles. And in true form, the band starts right off the bat with “Combustion,” a track that begins with a nimble guitar line and cymbal work in a completely different time than the rest of the rhythm section. It’s here that it all breaks in an explosion of sound, with Jens Kidman’s death howl showcased in a crushingly beautiful fashion. It’s capped off by an incredibly flavorful and melodic solo by Fredrik Thordendal’s jazzy lead guitar work.

“Combustion” serves as a reminder that the band that has been at the forefront of progressive metal is still here to bring brutality, but the there is something distinctly different about the overall sound from here on out.

For starters, the band welcomes back drummer Thomas Haake after they implemented the use of a drum machine on Catch 33. With Haake, behind the skins once again, the album’s drumming feels far more fluid that the endlessly sequenced machine-gun drumming found on their last release.

That’s not to say its softer, but the obZen benefits from a human player rather than some mechanized apparatus keeping time. The album’s title track benefits from Haake’s innovative cymbal use and his deft ability to keep multiple time signatures going at the same time.

Still, not everything is perfect on obZen. As a whole, the record is very clean sounding for as detuned as the guitars are, and it’s probably the most shocking change for the band. The grit that has pervaded most Meshuggah releases has all but been done away with, so songs like “This Spiteful Snake” lack staying power. Had the guitars seemed less compressed as a whole, and the band had allowed a tad more feedback to seep through in the recordings, the album might have been a tad more urgent and immediate.

And with Meshuggah streamlining their sound from their last album’s ruthless experimentation, listeners can’t help but feel like the material on obZen is a tad regressive. It’s not that the songs are sloppy, but there is no evolution in their sound, nothing that’s truly carried over from Catch 33. In fact, the album reminds me of what plagued Tool’s last release: it was almost too listenable and failed to really challenge its listeners. And while listening to tracks like, “Pineal Gland Optics” you almost feel like these thunderous riffs have been down before, and that the band is capable of pushing themselves even more.

obZen’s crown jewel however is “Bleed.” It’s the one spot on the album where it feels like a nod to their past as well as push forward and it's perhaps one of the most dynamic songs on the album. The main thrash riff feels like it never ends, but merely swells and descends as the pummeling drumming rolls alongside it. “Bleed” also features seamless transitions between those odd time signatures that really peak you’re interest.

The track expertly displays how good these men have become at shifting the churning directions of their songs. And the ambient midsection shows off their versatility and fascination with atmospherics. It’s shame though, because if the album had more tracks in the vein of “Bleed,” it would have really felt like another masterpiece from these bizarre Swedes.

As it is, musical elitist will have to settle for average from their darling favorites, showing that even the best of us can’t be perfect all the time.

Sounds Like: Nothing (Meshuggah), Bless The Martyr, Kiss The Child (Norma Jean), Blackwater Park (Opeth)

Key Cuts: Combustion, Bleed, Dancers To A Discordant System

The Mars Volta- The Bedlam In Goliath (****)

Nearly every internet forum that I belong to had this to say about The Mars Volta for the last few months:

“The Mars Volta have gone MAD!”

Of course, they referred to the band’s newly fashioned website, featuring four videos of surreal scenes, live footage and new material. It signaled many things. For one, The Mars Volta were about making songs that were blisteringly fast and short, something they’ve all but abandoned since the days of At The Drive-In. The other was that The Mars Volta had truly been losing their mind, something that the new record is a testament to.

While the full feeling of The Bedlam In Goliath was merely hinted at on their website, the album serves as a manifestation of the chaos the group experienced during the making of the record. Apparently, there’s some bizarre story of a Ouija-board game Cedric Bixler-Zavala received as a gift from Omar Rodríguez-López. The band then went through a series of events that they thought the game, in a greater cosmic sense, was somehow responsible for (like Rodríguez-López’s basement studio flooding, audio tracks suddenly disappearing).

It sounds like Jumanji on crack.

But whether or not you feel is just anther excuse for The Mars Volta to be weird on purpose, the fact is this game (dubbed “The Soothsayer”) really had an affect on the group. The result is an album that recaptures the loud, messy hardcore of their At The Drive-In days as well as their appetite for voracious experimentation in terms of jazz, Latin rhythms and blistering post-hardcore.

While not all the songs are as short as previewed, the first single “Wax Simulacra” serves as a good launching point into understanding this record. In a flurry of frets, spidery drumming, and Bixler-Zavala’s almost soulful shriek, The Mars Volta set to prove they can still speed through smaller numbers with ease. The song is best described as a fleet of blenders set on high, and strangely makes two minutes seem longer than you think it might.

However, it does break The Mars Volta out of this mentality that longer song structures mean more artistic. Unlike 2006’s Amputecture which featured three songs over 10 minutes, there are only two songs on The Bedlam In Goliath that stretch past nine minutes, and average somewhere around five and six minutes a piece. It demonstrates that the group is cutting the fat these days, opting to shape sound and actual songs while moving away from pretentious art-rock ambiance and meanderings.

The quirky and funky “Ilyena” is shaped around murky and hazy white noise before Bixler-Zavala’s voice pierces the atmosphere giving rise to a pulsing rhythm section as well as Rodríguez-López’s madman axe skills. While their last album owed more to Zeppelin and Rush than Fugazi, The Bedlam In Goliath borrows heavily from funk at times. Rodríguez-López seems to have discovered the wah-pedal and makes many of his melodies sway and glide alongside the onslaught of distortion and spaced-out feedback.

The seductive and watery “Soothsayer” begins with drifting strings but stomps off with this wah-soaked playing style, rising and falling at Rodríguez-López’s whim. His guitar playing is best categorized as abusive and the leads on this album are perfect evidence of this. The album’s centerpiece, “Goliath,” is a seven minute monster that plateaus in squealing ferocity from Rodríguez-López, further proving that he’s lost nothing in terms of skill.

All the while, Bixler-Zavala’s voice is as is most high pitched as it’s ever been, rambling on about stillborns, cement husks, blistered prisons and whatever purple prose the guy wishes to throw into the mix. His penchant for peppering his lyrics with cryptic metaphors hasn’t changed, but given the superstitious background of this album, they seem to aid in the pseudo-sanity of Bixler-Zavala’s ideological musings.

If The Bedlam In Goliath has any flaws, its that Bixler-Zavala’s reliance on vocal effects reaches an irritating level in places. That and sometimes, you feel sorry for The Mars Volta because they really seem like they’ve lost their minds. While some weirdness goes along way, the songs here barely stay together, twisting and churning like only The Mars Volta know how.

But somehow, it fits in a weird cosmic sort of way.

It truly feels like concentrated madness, or a schizophrenic’s worst nightmare. The Bedlam In Goliath succeeds because of how focused the insanity seems. Like their success with At The Drive-In and their debut album, De-Loused In The Comatorium, The Mars Volta seem like they are beginning to channel that weirdness into solid songs that could go off the railing at any moment, rather than being overrun by it.

And to think, all it took was a Oujia board.

Sounds Like- Relationship Of Command (At The Drive-In), De-Loused In The Comatorium (The Mars Volta), The Shape Of Punk To Come (Refused)

Key Cuts- Wax Simulacra, Goliath, Soothsayer

The 2007 Mixtape

To those that celebrate this oh so plastic and fake holiday, I offer my tidings and good cheer as meager as it seems. As a small present, here is a compilation of my favorite tracks from 2007. I’m too lazy to upload a zip for you all, so find them with your legal or illegal musical avenue of choice.

Merry Xmas.

The Best Of 2007 (1 hour & 17 minutes)

Song For Clay (Disappear Here)- Bloc Party
7 Shades Of Black- The Smashing Pumpkins
Stiff Kittens- Blaqk Audio
You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do What Your Told)- The White Stripes
(Fork & Knife)- Brand New
Nude- Radiohead
Let It Die- Foo Fighters
Woe- Saves The Day
New Dark Ages- Bad Religion
Gotta Be Somebody’s Blues- Jimmy Eat World
Superfriend- Rivers Cuomo
Calling All Cops- Motion City Soundtrack
Pretty Handsome Awkward- The Used
Misfit Love- Queens Of The Stone Age
Ladies & Gentlemen: My Brother, The Failure- Thursday
I Worship Only What You Bleed- The Black Dahlia Murder
Mother Superior- Coheed & Cambria
The Flame Deluge- Thrice
Zero-Sum- Nine Inch Nails

Coheed & Cambria- Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV: Volume II: No World For Tomorrow (***)

Every generation needs the theatrics of a good saga.

Much like the heroes painted in these stories, a good saga acts as one of the best marks of that time period. It speaks to generations about big and massive conflicts, while at the same time throws itself into frills of geekdom. Save for the 90s where anything resembling that was uncool, we have both Star Wars and Rush firmly flying the flag for everything that’s overblown and huge in the 70s and 80s.

Then, in the early 2000s some crazy band from New York decided to combine the two with their love of metal to boot. The result was Coheed & Cambria, a band that has been giving us their story of Star Wars meets Lord Of The Rings, with each of their albums acting as a grand chapter for listeners. Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV: Volume II: No World For Tomorrow (known as NWFT from here on out) is the second part of the fourth chapter and the conclusion to the Coheed & Cambria storyline. Unfortunately, NWFT finds the band comfortably coasting on their established sound while their story and their visions deserve more.

If there is ever a golden rule about prog-rock, it’s that you go ALL OUT or go home.

It’s not that the music found on NWFT is terrible, for the band certainly execute everything at the drop of a dime. The lead single, “The Running Free,” features some jerky guitar work and spidery melodies that showcase the band’s talent quite nicely even if the lyrics are half-baked. “The Reaping” serves as an ominous acoustic opener with Claudio Sanchez’s chilling vocals, yet curiously, the band’s signature “Keeping The Blade” melody seems to be missing. A common motif through out their albums, it’s odd that it’s absent and that’s something that runs rampant through this record, a sense of incompleteness.

The album’s title track finds Coheed channeling Rush by way of Queensrÿche, complete with a never ending riff and big full shout outs that could have been ripped from the film 300. However, it doesn’t explode with the same urgency and mammoth sized riffs that have marked cuts like “In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth 3” or “Welcome Home.” For a track to set us up with the sense of good and evil, to thrust us into this large conflict, it ends up feeling a bit flat.

Part of this is due to the production. Throughout the record, listeners won’t help but feel that the overall mix is flat. The drums don’t boom as they’re buried in the mix, the bass scratches but never rumbles, and the guitars don’t crunch like they did on Good Apollo, Volume I. Nick Raskulinecz handles the knob turning this time around and pushes Sanchez’s voice far too forward in the mix that it over shadows the rest of the instrumentation. It’s a shame, because while their previous Good Apollo, Volume I came across as clean, crisp, heavy, and dynamic, here the band’s sound simply sounds cartoony.

Ultimately, it does the story a disservice.

There are, however, bright spots to Coheed’s rather ordinary conclusion. “Feathers” ends up eerily reminiscent of Cheap Trick, yet never comes across as boring. The melodies twist and churn with the great sing-along chorus of, “Right now/Hide your feathers on the back porch, baby/He’s coming home, for you've been such a liar…” Admittedly, if you’re a fan of the repeated sing-a-longs that peppered Coheed’s most radio rotated songs, then you’ll love a majority of this album.

However, the real treasures are when the band decides to out do themselves. The album’s standout is easily “Mother Superior,” a song that begins with a soft acoustic guitar that’s augmented by strings to add a hair-raising atmosphere. The song builds into their warped version of “Hotel California,” complete with the use of Phantom Of The Opera-like pipe organs. Here, the band is at its most baroque and sinister, reminding us that there is darkness to this story. “Gravemakers & Guslingers” is a thrashier number that recalls Coheed’s disjointed guitar playing and great backing vocals. The song drives with a punk-inspired back beat and reminds us that this band is able to fulfill their potential when they feel like it.

Still, it’s all too little too late. Of the 5 songs that make up “The End Chapter” song cycle, only “The End Chapter III: The End Complete” is worth any notice. Still, it’s hampered in the same fashion as everything else on the record, bad production and riffs that don’t quite groove. However, it’s the closest the band comes to an epic arrangement that suites the story, and it displays some impressive guitar virtuosity that has not been utilized nearly enough on the album.

Like with all epics, to tell one demands that you're at 110% all the time, and this seems to have caught up with Coheed & Cambria. Or, perhaps just like The Empire Strikes Back, the middle chapter is just more compelling than the actual conclusion. Whatever the reason, Coheed & Cambria have crafted an album that fails to live up to expectations despite being solidly crafted. As it stands, listeners only have Part I of this story to look forward to after NWFT.

Please, don’t be like George Lucas and bury Part I in technology!

Sounds Like: Queen II (Queen), Operation: Mindcrime (Queensrÿche), Anything by Rush

Key Cuts: Feathers, Mother Superior, Gravemakers & Gunslingers

Geeks, UNITE!

In case you hadn’t figured it out by now, I’m a big geek. That’s right, geek, nerd, dork whatever you want to call it that’s what I am. I embrace things that are cheesy, overtly theatrical, and I even have a cult-like devotion to many of those things. I love geek culture to death, but for far too often it’s written off as something to be shunned. I’ll point out that relishing in things such as science fiction, video games, graphic novels, and epic quests make one available to some great portions of pop culture. That’s not all, for people that are geeks often the most articulate and interesting people to talk to because of their passions. You find a geek at a party, never let them go! The question then becomes, How does one embrace their inner geek and what sorts of tunes (for this is a music blog after all…) allow that person to wave the geek flag so proudly?

I’m glad you asked…

Geeks! Rock Hard! (1 hour 18 minutes)

1. Knights Of Cydonia- Muse
Nothing better to start out this star-studded tribute to geekdom by celebrating the marriage of two unlikely things: space and the old west. Muse crafts a sci-fi epic that sounds like one of Ennio Morricone’s estranged children. The energy is bombastic, the lyrics urgent, the harmonies grand, and the stakes dire. Horns and spaced out keyboards add to the overall feel.

2. 2112- Rush
The near 20 minute mini-opera that Rush uses to open their smash hit album 2112 is soaked with geek. The music is typical fair for Rush standards; huge movements, booming bass parts, great synthesizers and some impressive lyrics by Neil Peart. Geddy Lee spins a tail about a far off future where a boy wanders into a forbidden temple only to find a guitar (and with it the gift of music itself). The song resolves its huge hero arch by having the main character take his own life and evil take over the galaxy. Shades of Empire Strikes Back indeed.

3. In The Garage- Weezer
One could argue that geek in rock music was never really big until Rivers Cuomo and the gang put out a little album with a blue cover. Nonetheless, this garage rock staple (complete with harmonica mind you) sits comfortably in our anthems to geekdom. In this tender track, Cuomo all at once name checks everything from D&D to the X-Men while embracing that often bittersweet solitude that results from indulging in such pleasures.

4. Killer Tofu- The Beets
Do you recall 90’s cartoons? You know, GOOD cartoons? Nickelodeon’s Doug was such a cartoon. The brain child of Jim Jinkins, the show followed its title character around in a world not so different from ours. This world also featured The Beets, a band sounding like a conglomerate of everything from The Beatles to The Rolling Stones with some squealing Van Halen thrown in for good measure. This glorious rage against a sinister bean curd will have you geeking out in no time. Odds are that if you actually own an mp3 of this song, you have already resided into your destiny of dorkdom.

5. Teenagers From Mars- The Network
So what if its Green Day and two guys from Devo? The Network craft some catchy new wave and this appropriate cover of the classic Misfits song is no exception. It’s got space, keyboards and a crazy hook. It plays out like a bad B-Movie and that’s what makes it so satisfying. Bille Joe proudly proclaims that we are “Teenagers from Mars!/And we don’t care!” Finding strength in the regions beyond allows this track to more than earn its keep in our mix.

6. The Saga Begins- Weird Al
Weird Al has always been a top choice of the nerdy. Since the 80s, Al has supplied popular culture with some ridiculous parodies that all seem to find themselves just under that Parental Advisory status. Nonetheless, it takes guts to not only take on the 8 minute epic “American Pie,” but to reenact the entire plot of Star Wars Episode I in the process, well that’s just tremendous. And he pulls it off flawlessly, his backing band giving us the same hint of grandeur that Don Mclean gave the original. Al’s version is so good, it makes us forget that the film was so bad, and that’s a gift to geeks everywhere.

7. In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth: 3 -Coheed & Cambria
Somewhere back in New York, a band that loved Rush and Zeppelin decided they’d put together a band to sing about an epic that falls somewhere between Star Wars and Lord Of The Rings. Coheed & Cambria do just that, and this cut off their album with the same title is no slouch. The ominous notes that open this beast of a song start the tension as Claudio Sanchez relates the tale of an epic battle to us. The song just builds into a haunting wall of sound featuring a dozen backing voices. Man your battle stations indeed, the universe hangs in the balance.

8. I Am A Wizard- Harry & The Potters
I’m not going to lie, Harry & The Potter are far from musically gifted individuals. But part of that is their charm I suppose. It’s somewhat endearing to hear a 13 year old lament about his favorite boy wizard and last time I checked, magic is DEFINITELY geeky. This cut off their first album introduces us to the boy wizard in all his glory. You’ll either smile at the references to J.K. Rowling’s addicting little cash machine of a book, or at this poor boys singing, but you WILL smile.

9. In Search Of 1988- Ozma
Add one part Weezer, and one part The Cars. Hit play, and relish in a song that seems to be stuck in a time warp. Ozma’s infectious little number about 80’s nostalgia name checks both Mario and Luigi. This upbeat ode to geekdom will either make you reminisce about how great the 80s were to grow up in or make you wish you were just that much older.

10. My Spirit Will Go On- Dragonforce
Really, I could have just put [Insert Any Song By Dragonforce] in this slot, but I chose this song in particular because of the wonderfully epic build up in the beginning before the song positively explodes. And its explodes it does, full of double bass, lightning fast guitars, rumbling bass work, outlandish vocals, and crazy lyrics about wizards and dragons. How could we leave this off?

11. Don’t Stop Me Now- Queen
Queen have always been theatrical in every sense of the word. If the world truly was a stage, then Queen put on one hell of a show. This little ditty off their looked over album Jazz and staple in one of the funniest moments of Shaun Of The Dead is a great addition to our collection. It features, Freddy Mercury rambling with sass and aplomb while the band plows full speed ahead. It’s the equivalent of dancing in your underwear only to find that your bedroom window is open and all your neighbors are focused on your intense performance.

12. D.O.A.- The Phenomenauts
These guys are a local band I always catch at The Phoenix Theater in Petaluma. They come from space, and play and incredibly infectious form of rockabilly by way of new wave. “D.O.A.” is not only one of the greatest songs about heartbreak that I know, but every metaphor in this song is some how connected to space. “You blew my dignity out of the airlock/You launched my pride into deep space/You put pain into my orbit/And you blamed it/On the space race.” Angel Nova weaves some incredible wordplay over this bass heavy do-op number. It makes me downright giddy every time they pepper their encores with it.

13. Fanthem- Turbo Justice & The Rockinauts
So this isn’t exactly fair because you guys probably haven’t heard about these Turbo Justice. Formed out by some of my closest buddies, the band is a set of superheros that traverse the stars and vanquish evil at all costs. “Fanthem” is their undying love for all things nerdy. It this great number, they weave in every nuance from Star Wars to Star Trek yet still manage to make the song hooky rather than wordy. And with the chorus of “And if you ever feel like the world is/Turning on you/Remember there is geek inside them too…” they ultimately show the solidarity that comes from geeking out. Definitely a must have.

14. The Final Countdown- Europe
You’ve heard the sugary synth line that won’t leave your brain for weeks. And with lines like “We’re headed for Venus!/We’re leaving ground!” how can you not end with this song? Plain and simple, it’s a song that you should hate, but can’t because it is so irresistible. Perhaps when all is said and done, this is the TRUE essence of geekdom: loving the things you should hate no matter what anyone says.